Judging by the title of this post, it's probably obvious that a lot has changed since last time. I believe the girlfriend and I were on a break and I was just a tiny bit annoyed at the thought of ever having another relationship again. I had resigned to go back to fucking people without letting bothersome feelings get involved.
Well, that didn't work out so well.
We're back together, engaged, and dating women together. And by dating I mean having threesomes. Ok so that's not entirely accurate since we did have a "real date" with one of the women and she doesn't seem to be in a hurry to get naked with us (much to my disappointment).
But let's talk about this threesome business. Fiance and I would probably disagree on whether or not a threesome is a threesome if two of the participants don't touch each other. Technically there were 3 people present, but we were both doing things to my fiance. I call it a pseudo-threesome.
Finally we had a real threesome just over a week ago. Leading up to this, I had been slightly nervous and unsure of how the dynamic would be between us. How would fiance and I work together? How would it work with the three of us? I dislike uncertainty so this was a little stressful.
Oddly enough, I was fine with it. We tied her up, flogged her, and did other naughty things to her. Then fiance was all done and I stayed in the bedroom playing with our new friend. Not weird at all.
She came back tonight and after some initial shyness, we came into the bedroom and got down to business. I had a good time, but it made me think of things.
Pain. I thought I liked it more than I actually do. I like intense sensations but I don't really like actual pain. Fiance bites me too hard in places that are too sensitive. Threesome friend likes pain more than I do so it's good to let fiance do that stuff to her. I might be super sensitive right now due to hormonal fluctuations, but damn, it was just too much! I don't know how to explain exactly what kind of pain or sensations I like, but I think I don't like being bitten so much anymore. At least not on places like my thighs or shoulders, but honestly, I'm running out of spots without bruises!
Also, with three people it can get sort of confusing. I feel like all parties need to be on the same page, otherwise it's just a disorganized pile of bodies on the bed. Fun or mayhem? I don't know.
I'm also realizing that I like more bodily contact with my partner and don't necessarily get off on only using implements on each other. I want touching. This has nothing to do with threesomes, but everything to do with kink. I don't think that in order to be kinky you absolutely must use a bunch of equipment on someone.
So, lessons? I don't want to be hurt. I like to feel good.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Sunday, April 21, 2013
The Secret To A Clean House...
...is to have a submissive 23 year old boy do it while I flog him.
He just left and my floors are SPOTLESS. He came in, I had him strip down totally naked, and under my instruction he swept and mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors and vacuumed everywhere else.
His reward was being tied to my bed and flogged. First, I made him get on his hands and knees on the bed and secured his ankles, legs wide apart. I flogged his ass, back, and the backs of his legs. Then I tickled him with a feather tickler till he was twitching. My favorite part was when he was on his back and his dick would raise up every time the flogger came down on him!
At my instruction, he got himself off and came on himself.
He took a shower and left.
Wow, I'm a little high on endorphins right now. I like this.
He just left and my floors are SPOTLESS. He came in, I had him strip down totally naked, and under my instruction he swept and mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors and vacuumed everywhere else.
His reward was being tied to my bed and flogged. First, I made him get on his hands and knees on the bed and secured his ankles, legs wide apart. I flogged his ass, back, and the backs of his legs. Then I tickled him with a feather tickler till he was twitching. My favorite part was when he was on his back and his dick would raise up every time the flogger came down on him!
At my instruction, he got himself off and came on himself.
He took a shower and left.
Wow, I'm a little high on endorphins right now. I like this.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Am I Being Served?
As I sit here waiting to hear from the one straight guy I still enjoy fucking, I wonder what's next in my world?
Damn ex-girlfriend left me wanting the kind of connection that we had. The chemistry, the fearlessness, the trust. But with her it went too far; we should have frozen our relationship as it was before we declared girlfriend status, before love. I was perfectly happy with that.
Now I find myself searching for someone who isn't afraid. Someone who can let go and lose themselves in the experience for the short time we're together without hesitation or expectation or suspicion that the other person wants more. If I can do this, there must be others who can too.
There are new rules. You flake on me one time, you're fired. You become a pain in the ass, texting me all the time before we even meet, you're fired. I don't hesitate to tell you exactly what I want and when it's not working. Which brings us to the girl in my last story. One simple text and that's done. Huge relief. No more sitting around wondering what they're thinking, stifling my feelings so I don't make them feel bad. Fuck that. No more wasting my time with someone or something I don't want.
I'm very much looking forward to meeting a new trans girl next week. She's super sweet and adorable and I have a little crush on her. I'm laughing to myself as I write this, thinking that everything seems great when you first start out. We'll see where this goes.
Oh and I may have a "slave". He calls himself that and refers to me as "Mistress" or "Goddess". I love this. What's better than receiving a text in the morning that says "good morning Goddess"? Finally people are treating me with respect! This particular guy wants to clean my house, worship my feet, serve me in whatever way I desire, even monetary gifts. His first assignment is to bring me a bottle of red wine when he comes over. It's the least he could do to show respect and appreciation for the privilege of serving me.
Oh, and I am going to flog him.
The stress release when you flog someone is unbelievable. If I could do this every day I'd be the most zen person around.
More tales of flogging and my future trans girlfriend coming up soon...
Damn ex-girlfriend left me wanting the kind of connection that we had. The chemistry, the fearlessness, the trust. But with her it went too far; we should have frozen our relationship as it was before we declared girlfriend status, before love. I was perfectly happy with that.
Now I find myself searching for someone who isn't afraid. Someone who can let go and lose themselves in the experience for the short time we're together without hesitation or expectation or suspicion that the other person wants more. If I can do this, there must be others who can too.
There are new rules. You flake on me one time, you're fired. You become a pain in the ass, texting me all the time before we even meet, you're fired. I don't hesitate to tell you exactly what I want and when it's not working. Which brings us to the girl in my last story. One simple text and that's done. Huge relief. No more sitting around wondering what they're thinking, stifling my feelings so I don't make them feel bad. Fuck that. No more wasting my time with someone or something I don't want.
I'm very much looking forward to meeting a new trans girl next week. She's super sweet and adorable and I have a little crush on her. I'm laughing to myself as I write this, thinking that everything seems great when you first start out. We'll see where this goes.
Oh and I may have a "slave". He calls himself that and refers to me as "Mistress" or "Goddess". I love this. What's better than receiving a text in the morning that says "good morning Goddess"? Finally people are treating me with respect! This particular guy wants to clean my house, worship my feet, serve me in whatever way I desire, even monetary gifts. His first assignment is to bring me a bottle of red wine when he comes over. It's the least he could do to show respect and appreciation for the privilege of serving me.
Oh, and I am going to flog him.
The stress release when you flog someone is unbelievable. If I could do this every day I'd be the most zen person around.
More tales of flogging and my future trans girlfriend coming up soon...
Monday, January 14, 2013
Contentment: Attainable or Impossible?
Wow it's been a while. What does that mean? Am I content with things the way they are? Well I must say I'm very very happy with my current relationship. However, my mind is just absolutely fucking swirling lately with so much stimulation, information, contemplation. I can't take it! I really love my girlfriend; I care about her a lot. But she's got someone else. So far the only thing that makes it any different or noticeable that I'm not the primary is that they live together. Otherwise, it just feels like a normal relationship.
So what's all this business swirling in my mind? Well, I want more these days. As mentioned in a previous entry, I'm not interested in being someone's on-call blow-job girl. I'm not into just fucking people for the sake of fucking them. I've grown tired of Skyping with guys who just want me to entertain them while they jerk off. Please! It gets old and I am fully aware that's all they want. So the problem is, weeding out these things seems to be taking longer than it should. Why am I still putting up with some of these jerks? Is my need for attention so massive that I'll still take whatever I can get, even if it's not fulfilling in any way?
Don't get me wrong, I've been slowly weeding out some guys. I've fired 3 guys with 9 inch cocks, hired one of them back, then fired him again (though he doesn't yet know that). Seriously, I would love a cool guy with a cock that big, but there was NO chemistry with the guys in question and I was tired of just fucking them with no kissing, no cuddling, no other activities besides blow jobs and fucking. Really? What kind of asshole thinks that's all a girl wants?
Straight guys, that's who. I'm sick of them. SICK! It's a rare thing to meet a straight guy who actually pays attention to what women like or need.
Which brings us to Warehouse Guy. Now, he doesn't really work in a warehouse, but we'll get to that later. He actually found me on a website I belong to that shall remain nameless, sent me a very lovely message, then we started texting right away. Instantly, we both noticed chemistry, even just from texting. There was some kind of vibe between us that made us wanna meet right away. Two days later, he came over. SO much cuter than his pic! Huge chemistry and we just got along right away. We just had some really fucking great sex. The following week he suggested I come to his place of work which we shall call the Warehouse, so one night I took a cab over there when he was working alone. Totally naughty and fun! I am texting him right now...
I've met some other guys who were complete duds. Not seeing them again. I'm not putting up with anything less than awesome. The thing is, sometimes you don't know they're not awesome till you meet them, then it's always disappointing that you wasted your time with someone like that. But it's just part of the deal, I guess.
Now let's talk about the long-distance guys. I'm getting tired of them too. All they wanna do is text me when their cocks are hard or have me send more pics or Skype or whatever. It's dumb and I'm sick of it. I guess it did something for me at some point, but not anymore. I am not into Skyping, especially guys in other countries in different time zones whom I'll never EVER meet!
So my girlfriend thinks I should try to find a woman and I kinda think she's right. I'm tired of asshole straight guys. I do love bi guys but it's really hard to find bi people of any kind who are actually single. I don't wanna be in another poly relationship in which I'm not the primary. I have one and that's enough. But honestly, I don't really know what I want or what I really have time for. The girlfriend I do have is really important to me and I don't want to take away from time spent with her. I'd love to spend even more time with her! So anyone new would have to be really special.
That's my deal. Deal with it.
So what's all this business swirling in my mind? Well, I want more these days. As mentioned in a previous entry, I'm not interested in being someone's on-call blow-job girl. I'm not into just fucking people for the sake of fucking them. I've grown tired of Skyping with guys who just want me to entertain them while they jerk off. Please! It gets old and I am fully aware that's all they want. So the problem is, weeding out these things seems to be taking longer than it should. Why am I still putting up with some of these jerks? Is my need for attention so massive that I'll still take whatever I can get, even if it's not fulfilling in any way?
Don't get me wrong, I've been slowly weeding out some guys. I've fired 3 guys with 9 inch cocks, hired one of them back, then fired him again (though he doesn't yet know that). Seriously, I would love a cool guy with a cock that big, but there was NO chemistry with the guys in question and I was tired of just fucking them with no kissing, no cuddling, no other activities besides blow jobs and fucking. Really? What kind of asshole thinks that's all a girl wants?
Straight guys, that's who. I'm sick of them. SICK! It's a rare thing to meet a straight guy who actually pays attention to what women like or need.
Which brings us to Warehouse Guy. Now, he doesn't really work in a warehouse, but we'll get to that later. He actually found me on a website I belong to that shall remain nameless, sent me a very lovely message, then we started texting right away. Instantly, we both noticed chemistry, even just from texting. There was some kind of vibe between us that made us wanna meet right away. Two days later, he came over. SO much cuter than his pic! Huge chemistry and we just got along right away. We just had some really fucking great sex. The following week he suggested I come to his place of work which we shall call the Warehouse, so one night I took a cab over there when he was working alone. Totally naughty and fun! I am texting him right now...
I've met some other guys who were complete duds. Not seeing them again. I'm not putting up with anything less than awesome. The thing is, sometimes you don't know they're not awesome till you meet them, then it's always disappointing that you wasted your time with someone like that. But it's just part of the deal, I guess.
Now let's talk about the long-distance guys. I'm getting tired of them too. All they wanna do is text me when their cocks are hard or have me send more pics or Skype or whatever. It's dumb and I'm sick of it. I guess it did something for me at some point, but not anymore. I am not into Skyping, especially guys in other countries in different time zones whom I'll never EVER meet!
So my girlfriend thinks I should try to find a woman and I kinda think she's right. I'm tired of asshole straight guys. I do love bi guys but it's really hard to find bi people of any kind who are actually single. I don't wanna be in another poly relationship in which I'm not the primary. I have one and that's enough. But honestly, I don't really know what I want or what I really have time for. The girlfriend I do have is really important to me and I don't want to take away from time spent with her. I'd love to spend even more time with her! So anyone new would have to be really special.
That's my deal. Deal with it.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Happy
So now I know more of what I want...affection, attention, touching, cuddling, crazy good kinky sex, the works. What I don't want is to be someone's on-call blow-job girl. Believe me, some guys seem to think that's what I am.
I'm not interested in simply fucking, though I must say I haven't had a good one in a while. Fucking in the traditional sense, that is. Oh but I've been fucked.
I like my life. Keep in mind that I'm slightly drunk on wine right now, but I'm very happy with the situation. Very happy. My girlfriend just left and she always leaves me in a rather dreamy state, in addition to the drunken state from all the wine. I'm literally so happy I don't really have many other thoughts in my head right now other than the awesome feeling that I'm left with after spending the day with my yummy girlfriend.
So why am I writing this blog entry today? I have no idea. Just perhaps to say how happy I am? Who the hell wants to hear that crap? Haha. Or how unique my experiences have been lately? I don't know.
Maybe that's all I have to say right now. That's all my brain can handle. Till next time...
I'm not interested in simply fucking, though I must say I haven't had a good one in a while. Fucking in the traditional sense, that is. Oh but I've been fucked.
I like my life. Keep in mind that I'm slightly drunk on wine right now, but I'm very happy with the situation. Very happy. My girlfriend just left and she always leaves me in a rather dreamy state, in addition to the drunken state from all the wine. I'm literally so happy I don't really have many other thoughts in my head right now other than the awesome feeling that I'm left with after spending the day with my yummy girlfriend.
So why am I writing this blog entry today? I have no idea. Just perhaps to say how happy I am? Who the hell wants to hear that crap? Haha. Or how unique my experiences have been lately? I don't know.
Maybe that's all I have to say right now. That's all my brain can handle. Till next time...
Sunday, December 9, 2012
I Want Everything
So it's been a while. My mind is always swirling so much that it's hard to focus my thoughts for another blog entry. However I feel like an update is needed since so much has changed, so much is going on.
Of course everything is different since the last blog entry. I'm only still seeing one of those people on my mysteriously coded list and frankly, the code was so mysterious that I don't even remember who most of them are! Obviously, they weren't all that special. Except one.
Yes, I'm now in a poly relationship with an adorable bi trans girl. So cool. The situation is just perfect for me right now. I love everything we do together. It's helping me narrow down just what I want and what I need in addition to what I already have. It's so cool I can hardly put it into coherent words for this blog. Maybe I'll just leave it at that for now.
But gaps need filling in. Since she has a primary relationship, I'm still looking for - what? - my own primary? - more fun friends to see regularly? This is the question that needs answering and like everything else, I may not know the answer until I find it. That's the cool thing about being poly; you can keep your options open at all times and everything can be fluid, nothing stagnates. It's what you want it to be and I love that.
I still love meeting new people but that has slowed down a bit. For all of these months, I've been saying that I'm narrowing down what I want, raising my standards, etc, but I think it's only now starting to happen. I still love the attention, but what I really want is more of what I have now only with different people who can fill in the gaps and meet my needs that aren't being met in my current relationship. Or they can just give me more of the awesome things that I AM getting in my relationship! More awesome is always welcome.
I've joined a couple new websites to try and meet people who are into the things I'm into. So far I haven't met anyone in person from them, but it's not because of a lack of offers! I'm just picky and the right opportunity hasn't come up yet. I am currently texting an adorable 23 year old guy I just met yesterday and we have plans to meet this week. We both like the same things, both have the desire to get to know each other and experiment and figure things out together, AND he seems really sweet. What else do I want? OOH and he's bisexual, my favorite, and he has agreed to wear a skirt and fishnets for me because I think that is the sexiest thing ever.
I've had random offers but nothing has come of them mostly due to scheduling problems but some just because I didn't think they were the right fit. I went on a "real date" recently with an adorable bi guy and we got along really really well. The thing is, he's turning out to be a super flakey doofus! He says he wants to see me again but can never seem to make the time and keeps breaking our plans. I'm done. I'm not reserving my time for him anymore. I'll find other cute boys who have the time and the desire to spend some of it with me. That's all I want really.
So things are good. I am making it through this awful holiday season intact. I will come out of it in January a year older but infinitely happier.
Of course everything is different since the last blog entry. I'm only still seeing one of those people on my mysteriously coded list and frankly, the code was so mysterious that I don't even remember who most of them are! Obviously, they weren't all that special. Except one.
Yes, I'm now in a poly relationship with an adorable bi trans girl. So cool. The situation is just perfect for me right now. I love everything we do together. It's helping me narrow down just what I want and what I need in addition to what I already have. It's so cool I can hardly put it into coherent words for this blog. Maybe I'll just leave it at that for now.
But gaps need filling in. Since she has a primary relationship, I'm still looking for - what? - my own primary? - more fun friends to see regularly? This is the question that needs answering and like everything else, I may not know the answer until I find it. That's the cool thing about being poly; you can keep your options open at all times and everything can be fluid, nothing stagnates. It's what you want it to be and I love that.
I still love meeting new people but that has slowed down a bit. For all of these months, I've been saying that I'm narrowing down what I want, raising my standards, etc, but I think it's only now starting to happen. I still love the attention, but what I really want is more of what I have now only with different people who can fill in the gaps and meet my needs that aren't being met in my current relationship. Or they can just give me more of the awesome things that I AM getting in my relationship! More awesome is always welcome.
I've joined a couple new websites to try and meet people who are into the things I'm into. So far I haven't met anyone in person from them, but it's not because of a lack of offers! I'm just picky and the right opportunity hasn't come up yet. I am currently texting an adorable 23 year old guy I just met yesterday and we have plans to meet this week. We both like the same things, both have the desire to get to know each other and experiment and figure things out together, AND he seems really sweet. What else do I want? OOH and he's bisexual, my favorite, and he has agreed to wear a skirt and fishnets for me because I think that is the sexiest thing ever.
I've had random offers but nothing has come of them mostly due to scheduling problems but some just because I didn't think they were the right fit. I went on a "real date" recently with an adorable bi guy and we got along really really well. The thing is, he's turning out to be a super flakey doofus! He says he wants to see me again but can never seem to make the time and keeps breaking our plans. I'm done. I'm not reserving my time for him anymore. I'll find other cute boys who have the time and the desire to spend some of it with me. That's all I want really.
So things are good. I am making it through this awful holiday season intact. I will come out of it in January a year older but infinitely happier.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Polykinkyfun
Wow, there's a lot going on right now!
Lots of changes and new discoveries.
I'm unapologetically polyamorous.
I'm kinky and getting kinkier by the day.
I love bisexual guys.
Skinny guys are hot.
There seems to be a never-ending supply of younger guys who love older women.
I have a very high sex drive.
I have some really awesome people in my life.
I've discovered that if you want something, just ask for it and you'll get it.
If you don't want something, stop doing that.
If you're not sure what you want, try everything!
Never say never.
Size does NOT matter. (guys, you can be easily replaced by silicone)
I don't know what else to say right now other than I'm having a really really really good time. I guess I could list the guys I have in my life, some I've met and some I have not. This'll give you an idea of my typical day.
The Regulars:
Bi
K1
K2
A
Z
The Randoms:
The Freak
Jack
Musician
Puerto Rico
Out-of-state:
Vermont
Nashville1
Illinois
Nashville2
Portland
Chicago
As-of-this-moment-texting-but-still-have-not-met:
B
N
W
A
C
Now, I have to add that there are some people I left off because I may have seen them a couple of times but they're not necessarily regular, but they're too random to be randoms. If that makes any sense. Let's just say there are a lot. They come and go and in a few days some of the ones on the last list will be moved to one of the other lists as I'm going to meet them soon.
Basically, I need a LOT of stimulation. I need to be in contact with several people at all times. I need to meet them, text them, email, and meet again. It's what keeps me going at this point and I'm not apologizing for that.
That's my life at the moment!
Lots of changes and new discoveries.
I'm unapologetically polyamorous.
I'm kinky and getting kinkier by the day.
I love bisexual guys.
Skinny guys are hot.
There seems to be a never-ending supply of younger guys who love older women.
I have a very high sex drive.
I have some really awesome people in my life.
I've discovered that if you want something, just ask for it and you'll get it.
If you don't want something, stop doing that.
If you're not sure what you want, try everything!
Never say never.
Size does NOT matter. (guys, you can be easily replaced by silicone)
I don't know what else to say right now other than I'm having a really really really good time. I guess I could list the guys I have in my life, some I've met and some I have not. This'll give you an idea of my typical day.
The Regulars:
Bi
K1
K2
A
Z
The Randoms:
The Freak
Jack
Musician
Puerto Rico
Out-of-state:
Vermont
Nashville1
Illinois
Nashville2
Portland
Chicago
As-of-this-moment-texting-but-still-have-not-met:
B
N
W
A
C
Now, I have to add that there are some people I left off because I may have seen them a couple of times but they're not necessarily regular, but they're too random to be randoms. If that makes any sense. Let's just say there are a lot. They come and go and in a few days some of the ones on the last list will be moved to one of the other lists as I'm going to meet them soon.
Basically, I need a LOT of stimulation. I need to be in contact with several people at all times. I need to meet them, text them, email, and meet again. It's what keeps me going at this point and I'm not apologizing for that.
That's my life at the moment!
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