I find myself in a bit of a state today. Last weekend was incredible and that feeling carried over into Monday. So explain to me why I suddenly feel some kind of funk coming on? I took a break Tuesday and Wednesday to have some me time and get some things done around the house, but tonight a guy was supposed to come over.
Well he totally no-showed. No email, no contact. Just no show. I'm sure I'll get an email with some lame excuse at some point, but I'm not interested. This is the first time we actually had plans, but he's been horrible at communicating all along and will send random emails saying "wanna fuck tonight?" and when I respond, he never emails back! Apparently he didn't want to?
I have no time for this shit. It does bad things to my self-esteem even though intellectually I know I'm fine. The funny thing is, I wasn't even that much in the mood to have anyone over, but I've been wanting to meet him for a while so I figured once he got here, it'd be fun!
But why do my moods change so drastically when this happens? I hate how a day of not getting very many texts or emails can send me into some kind of weird angsty state. I'm not comfortable with that but don't know how to get out of it.
Even though I know that Mr. Bisexual is coming on Sunday as usual, I still feel like I want more. Why can't I be happy with once a week with someone awesome? I'm always searching. Always.
Then I sent a text to Puerto Rico and he didn't respond. That bugs me. I mean it's text, I know you read it, just text me back and say hi. I'm not Crazy Texting Girl and won't bother you if you're busy. I'm not a kid and I don't play games.
Tonight I ended up hanging out with a friend of mine...drinks, dinner, good conversation. I feel better I know I'll be ok.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
My Week Long Relationship With A Guy I've Never Met
So if you've been reading this blog, you probably understand by now that I'm not interested in nor am I ready for a real relationship. This is about sex. I'm loving being single and not accounting to anyone for my actions. It's awesome.
Enter Mr. Relationship Denial (RD).
This next guy threw me for a loop and almost had me convinced I wanted something that I really didn't want. His timing was interesting; he contacted me on the dating site, all full of compliments and very interested in me just when I was dealing with one guy being a no-show and another one postponing 3 times in one week. We messaged and then quickly turned to texting. There was no dirty talk but I just thought he was being polite. Surely he'd request a naughty pic at any moment! What was taking so long!
He said right off the bat that he wasn't looking for a serious relationship. COOL! I'm not either! This should work out well since we were both so attracted to each other, right? It was just a matter of time before I had him in my lair - I mean condo.
So he still wasn't in town yet as he was planning to relocate here very soon, so our communication was strictly text until he surprised me by calling me when I was at work. What!?!? At first I thought it was cute, but he seemed to get off somehow on surprising me with phone calls. I'm a texter!
Then soon after RD said he didn't want a serious relationship, he took that definition a little further, adding that he wants an exclusive arrangement "with someone cool to hang out with, have good conversation, cook together, chill, and fuck like crazy several times a week".
Excuse me, did someone say "exclusive"??? I hate to break it to you, but that is a relationship!
Now maybe I was vulnerable from all of the no-shows that week, but some weird part of me found the idea of a guy who would actually be there to be appealing. Oh, I wouldn't have to scramble to find someone? I wouldn't be disappointed that you didn't show up? We'd get over the awkward getting to know you phase and then be comfortable and familiar with each other? I went along with this for a few more days until I woke up one morning and thought, no way. I don't want someone here in my condo while I'm getting ready for work. I don't want anyone waiting for me when I get home. I don't wanna have to have discussions like "where are we going for dinner" and "what are we doing tonight?".
I don't want to date! I have friends if I want to dine out or go to movies or happy hour or whatever else I wanna do! Right now guys are for sex.
ARGH!
We were planning to meet on Saturday but never set a specific time or exact plans. Earlier in the week our discussions about what we'd do were always vague and inconclusive. In one conversation, I asked him to just come over to my place and he hesitated! I got the idea he wanted to actually go out and do something when I really just wanted to get him alone.
Saturday came and still no plans. He finally texted me around noon and the conversation was about random, benign things like what he had for breakfast or how hungover he was from the night before. I was going to let him solidify plans.
Meanwhile, I decided to go to my local bar and chill out instead of wait around for him. While there, drinking, I came to the conclusion that I simply could not meet this guy! We did not want the same thing! It was not fair of him to ask me to be exclusive if we were not in a serious relationship. It just didn't make sense.
So I had another drink, gathered up all of my courage, and texted him, telling him it wasn't going to work and I could not meet him. He understood, explaining that he can't have sex on the first date. We kept discussing how we wanted different things, we respect the other's decision, etc. Then in the next text he tells me again how attracted he is to me and how I'm making him hard! You cannot have it both ways! You either want to dirty text me and come over and fuck, or you want to "real date".
And thus ended the week-long relationship with a guy I've never met.
Enter Mr. Relationship Denial (RD).
This next guy threw me for a loop and almost had me convinced I wanted something that I really didn't want. His timing was interesting; he contacted me on the dating site, all full of compliments and very interested in me just when I was dealing with one guy being a no-show and another one postponing 3 times in one week. We messaged and then quickly turned to texting. There was no dirty talk but I just thought he was being polite. Surely he'd request a naughty pic at any moment! What was taking so long!
He said right off the bat that he wasn't looking for a serious relationship. COOL! I'm not either! This should work out well since we were both so attracted to each other, right? It was just a matter of time before I had him in my lair - I mean condo.
So he still wasn't in town yet as he was planning to relocate here very soon, so our communication was strictly text until he surprised me by calling me when I was at work. What!?!? At first I thought it was cute, but he seemed to get off somehow on surprising me with phone calls. I'm a texter!
Then soon after RD said he didn't want a serious relationship, he took that definition a little further, adding that he wants an exclusive arrangement "with someone cool to hang out with, have good conversation, cook together, chill, and fuck like crazy several times a week".
Excuse me, did someone say "exclusive"??? I hate to break it to you, but that is a relationship!
Now maybe I was vulnerable from all of the no-shows that week, but some weird part of me found the idea of a guy who would actually be there to be appealing. Oh, I wouldn't have to scramble to find someone? I wouldn't be disappointed that you didn't show up? We'd get over the awkward getting to know you phase and then be comfortable and familiar with each other? I went along with this for a few more days until I woke up one morning and thought, no way. I don't want someone here in my condo while I'm getting ready for work. I don't want anyone waiting for me when I get home. I don't wanna have to have discussions like "where are we going for dinner" and "what are we doing tonight?".
I don't want to date! I have friends if I want to dine out or go to movies or happy hour or whatever else I wanna do! Right now guys are for sex.
ARGH!
We were planning to meet on Saturday but never set a specific time or exact plans. Earlier in the week our discussions about what we'd do were always vague and inconclusive. In one conversation, I asked him to just come over to my place and he hesitated! I got the idea he wanted to actually go out and do something when I really just wanted to get him alone.
Saturday came and still no plans. He finally texted me around noon and the conversation was about random, benign things like what he had for breakfast or how hungover he was from the night before. I was going to let him solidify plans.
Meanwhile, I decided to go to my local bar and chill out instead of wait around for him. While there, drinking, I came to the conclusion that I simply could not meet this guy! We did not want the same thing! It was not fair of him to ask me to be exclusive if we were not in a serious relationship. It just didn't make sense.
So I had another drink, gathered up all of my courage, and texted him, telling him it wasn't going to work and I could not meet him. He understood, explaining that he can't have sex on the first date. We kept discussing how we wanted different things, we respect the other's decision, etc. Then in the next text he tells me again how attracted he is to me and how I'm making him hard! You cannot have it both ways! You either want to dirty text me and come over and fuck, or you want to "real date".
And thus ended the week-long relationship with a guy I've never met.
Weekend of Awesome
I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere with all of this. I can confidently say that I now have guys that I see on a regular basis. Have I stopped looking? Definitely not, but I have a list in my head of who I'd see first over anyone else. It's great. New people are at the bottom of the list and Puerto Rico & Mr. Chemistry are tied for my faves.
This weekend was what I would call very successful in not only quantity but quality. In fact, I'm still basking in the awesomeness of Mr. Chemistry being that he just left two hours ago! But let's rewind to Friday...
I went into the weekend with plans to meet a new guy on Saturday and see Mr. Chemistry on Sunday. Great. Why would I look elsewhere? Why did I need to seek out anything else? I do not know, but something clicked on Friday night and that old familiar feeling of "I bet I can get someone tonight" kicked in. I was drinking at my usual haunt and after one or two, I start to get the itch to text or message someone. Ridiculous, I know, but that's how it works. So I sent a message to a guy who had messaged me a week before. He had sent me pics which were hot, so I knew I was attracted to him. I went ahead and sent him a message on the dating site asking if he was still interested in meeting. Turns out he was, but only for a blow job that particular night. We talked a little more and that's truly all he wanted right then, so I agreed, left the bar, and went home.
Now girls, I really do enjoy this particular activity and I suggest you get your skills up to par as well. There's nothing like the feeling of making someone feel awesome by what you are doing and if you want them to do the same for you, you're going to have to learn to love sucking dick. It's just the truth.
Anyway, I gave him my address and he came right over. He was CUTE! We went into my room, he removed my shirt and bra and gave me a little attention, then I had him get comfy on the bed and I got down to business. This guy was polite, nice, fun, playful, and enjoyed it very very much. When he finished, he got dressed, thanked me, and went on his way! Success!
I met my friends at another bar and continued on with my night!
Now for Saturday. I'm going to save the story of this next guy for another post, but let's just say we had no solid plans except that we were going to meet probably later in the day. Well it turns out that I wasn't going to wait for him! I got a message from a guy on the dating site asking if I felt like getting a pounding from his 9 inch dick. Indeed I did! We chatted for a few minutes and then he came right over! This was quick and dirty fun. He made me call him "Master" and was very dominant and bossy, just how I like it. Dirty talk, ass-smackin', hair-pulling, the works. Good times. And I was done in time to shower and wait for the other guy to text me.
Well I don't really wait, so I ended up going down to my favorite bar and having a few drinks. We're going to fast-forward past the story of this guy and just say that I did not meet him. That whole thing deserves its own blog post. So the more I drank, the more I felt like texting Puerto Rico but I was trying to make him be the one to text me again. Well, I texted a friend of mine who just said do it, drunk text him. So I did. I said "hi, I'm drunk right now and you should come over". His answer? "When?"
Right now obviously! See, with him, I never believe he's coming until he's actually here, but he said he'd come! I waited and then about 30 minutes later, he texted that he was out front. I ran down and rode with him into my parking garage! Wow. I could not believe he was actually here again. This is what I've been wanting. Again, it was amazing, but this time we actually had a conversation! He talked and told me about things...I like this phase, the getting to know each other phase. I mean, we know each other physically, but if this is going to be a regular thing, I like to know a little more about you as we go along. It was really really nice and when he left I felt extremely happy.
Now for today's adventure with Mr. Chemistry. He arrived on time as usual, looking all cute and adorable. We immediately started kissing and moved into the bedroom. Like last time, he put as much of his hand inside me as would possibly fit. With him, it's very intense and hot...lots of biting, clawing, hair-pulling, kissing. It's just so hot. We must make each other feel really good and the whole experience is uninhibited and awesome. We fucked of course and when he was done, we cuddled and talked and kissed some more. I love it. When he leaves I always feel really good...satisfied...happy...exhausted. And he's coming back next Sunday.
I'll leave you with that for now...stay tuned for the story of the man who, as of this writing, still does not have a nickname.
This weekend was what I would call very successful in not only quantity but quality. In fact, I'm still basking in the awesomeness of Mr. Chemistry being that he just left two hours ago! But let's rewind to Friday...
I went into the weekend with plans to meet a new guy on Saturday and see Mr. Chemistry on Sunday. Great. Why would I look elsewhere? Why did I need to seek out anything else? I do not know, but something clicked on Friday night and that old familiar feeling of "I bet I can get someone tonight" kicked in. I was drinking at my usual haunt and after one or two, I start to get the itch to text or message someone. Ridiculous, I know, but that's how it works. So I sent a message to a guy who had messaged me a week before. He had sent me pics which were hot, so I knew I was attracted to him. I went ahead and sent him a message on the dating site asking if he was still interested in meeting. Turns out he was, but only for a blow job that particular night. We talked a little more and that's truly all he wanted right then, so I agreed, left the bar, and went home.
Now girls, I really do enjoy this particular activity and I suggest you get your skills up to par as well. There's nothing like the feeling of making someone feel awesome by what you are doing and if you want them to do the same for you, you're going to have to learn to love sucking dick. It's just the truth.
Anyway, I gave him my address and he came right over. He was CUTE! We went into my room, he removed my shirt and bra and gave me a little attention, then I had him get comfy on the bed and I got down to business. This guy was polite, nice, fun, playful, and enjoyed it very very much. When he finished, he got dressed, thanked me, and went on his way! Success!
I met my friends at another bar and continued on with my night!
Now for Saturday. I'm going to save the story of this next guy for another post, but let's just say we had no solid plans except that we were going to meet probably later in the day. Well it turns out that I wasn't going to wait for him! I got a message from a guy on the dating site asking if I felt like getting a pounding from his 9 inch dick. Indeed I did! We chatted for a few minutes and then he came right over! This was quick and dirty fun. He made me call him "Master" and was very dominant and bossy, just how I like it. Dirty talk, ass-smackin', hair-pulling, the works. Good times. And I was done in time to shower and wait for the other guy to text me.
Well I don't really wait, so I ended up going down to my favorite bar and having a few drinks. We're going to fast-forward past the story of this guy and just say that I did not meet him. That whole thing deserves its own blog post. So the more I drank, the more I felt like texting Puerto Rico but I was trying to make him be the one to text me again. Well, I texted a friend of mine who just said do it, drunk text him. So I did. I said "hi, I'm drunk right now and you should come over". His answer? "When?"
Right now obviously! See, with him, I never believe he's coming until he's actually here, but he said he'd come! I waited and then about 30 minutes later, he texted that he was out front. I ran down and rode with him into my parking garage! Wow. I could not believe he was actually here again. This is what I've been wanting. Again, it was amazing, but this time we actually had a conversation! He talked and told me about things...I like this phase, the getting to know each other phase. I mean, we know each other physically, but if this is going to be a regular thing, I like to know a little more about you as we go along. It was really really nice and when he left I felt extremely happy.
Now for today's adventure with Mr. Chemistry. He arrived on time as usual, looking all cute and adorable. We immediately started kissing and moved into the bedroom. Like last time, he put as much of his hand inside me as would possibly fit. With him, it's very intense and hot...lots of biting, clawing, hair-pulling, kissing. It's just so hot. We must make each other feel really good and the whole experience is uninhibited and awesome. We fucked of course and when he was done, we cuddled and talked and kissed some more. I love it. When he leaves I always feel really good...satisfied...happy...exhausted. And he's coming back next Sunday.
I'll leave you with that for now...stay tuned for the story of the man who, as of this writing, still does not have a nickname.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Chemistry!
Yes, a third blog post in the same day, but this one is worth it.. I'm going to call him Mr. Chemistry because that's just what we had. I messaged him on the dating website because I thought he was cute and he replied right away. Basically by the third message we were already discussing the logistics of meeting.
The thing about him is that he's bisexual and his messages were all about how he feels that just because it's "casual sex" doesn't mean it can't be an awesome experience. I've been looking for someone who isn't afraid to just be in the moment and enjoy it, without fear.
He arrived and immediately when I answered the door i knew we'd have fun. He was absolutely adorable, a little femme, super cute, sweet, and polite. He walked in, put down his bag, took off his shoes, and immediately kissed me. Yum! See, kissing is the thing. It's what lets me know if we're going to click or not. If you aren't a good kisser or if you don't do it at all, I know the sex isn't going to be great. I mean anyone can fuck and it's easy to find people for that, but when you feel a certain connection with someone it's so much better.
Again, not in a relationshipy way, just in a we-connect-on-a-sexual-level kind of way.
He was amazing...we discussed a few things ahead of time in the messages and knew that we both had an appreciation for a little bit of pain. He knew I wanted him to take control and he definitely delivered in both of those areas. It was just great.
Afterwards, he actually wanted to cuddle, even going to far as to kiss my forehead! I loved it. This is what I'm talking about.
No fear.
Puerto Rico WHO???
He is coming back next week. Enough said.
The thing about him is that he's bisexual and his messages were all about how he feels that just because it's "casual sex" doesn't mean it can't be an awesome experience. I've been looking for someone who isn't afraid to just be in the moment and enjoy it, without fear.
He arrived and immediately when I answered the door i knew we'd have fun. He was absolutely adorable, a little femme, super cute, sweet, and polite. He walked in, put down his bag, took off his shoes, and immediately kissed me. Yum! See, kissing is the thing. It's what lets me know if we're going to click or not. If you aren't a good kisser or if you don't do it at all, I know the sex isn't going to be great. I mean anyone can fuck and it's easy to find people for that, but when you feel a certain connection with someone it's so much better.
Again, not in a relationshipy way, just in a we-connect-on-a-sexual-level kind of way.
He was amazing...we discussed a few things ahead of time in the messages and knew that we both had an appreciation for a little bit of pain. He knew I wanted him to take control and he definitely delivered in both of those areas. It was just great.
Afterwards, he actually wanted to cuddle, even going to far as to kiss my forehead! I loved it. This is what I'm talking about.
No fear.
Puerto Rico WHO???
He is coming back next week. Enough said.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Not Another Annoying Weekend
Let's discuss how my weekend was supposed to play out. Earlier in the week I made plans to meet a guy tonight (Saturday); he was to come over at 8pm and we were both looking forward to it. Then I also met another guy online and we have plans for tomorrow at 1pm. Great. Why couldn't I be happy with that?
Now here's what really happened. This is my life.
Yesterday during work, my favorite guy texted me and I asked him to come over last night. He hesitated at first, but I managed to convince him and we agreed upon 7pm. This is someone I had a lot of fun with and I was really really looking forward to seeing him again. If I only saw him all weekend, I would've been happy. So I went down to the bar in my building to have a drink or two before he arrived, then, thinking it was unusual that I hadn't heard from him, I decided to text him 15 minutes before 7 to ask if he was on his way. "Oh that was tonight?"
What???? Of course it was tonight! I re-read our texts from earlier in the day and the word "tonight" was all over the place! There was no doubt the arrangement was that he would come over at 7pm Friday night. WTF kind of game was he playing here? I encouraged him to come over anyway, but he didn't respond to my texts. Much later that night, we had a brief exchange that consisted of one-word answers from him.
For some reason I began scrambling for someone to come over. Anyone, apparently. As I usually do when this particular person no-shows, I turned to craigslist and answered a couple of ads, not really thinking anything would come of them and also not thinking about how I really don't have time for any new people right this minute. But of course they both responded. We exchanged pics as per the normal procedure and I informed them that I was not available this weekend.
Then I emailed another guy I'd met online and asked if he wanted to come over since my night had suddenly opened up. He did. When he arrived, he informed me that he just wanted a blow job and for whatever reason, perhaps because his pants were already down, I obliged. Well that was quick and unsatisfying.
Am I going for quality or quantity? I thought quality but sometimes I slip up.
Even later last night as I was in bed, still clutching my iPhone, I received a message on the dating website from some guy who clearly was interested in sex. He was young and hot and right away I gave him my email so we could exchange pics. Wow those pics were nice. I told him I was in bed naked and he said he wanted to come over. Now call it vanity, but I had already washed off my makeup and didn't want to meet someone with a bare face. Also, as much as they think I'm going to answer the door naked, I'm not, and would need to get up and get dressed. Told him I was about to go to sleep and that was that. Then not even 5 minutes later I received a text from someone I have been in contact with but haven't met in person yet. He said "wanna fuck"? I told him I was sleeping and he said "well you're awake now". I was literally just about asleep when he texted me. I should've had one of those guys over...when will I learn to take the opportunities as they are presented to me?
So today I decided to be super-slutty and have one of last night's craigslist guys over for an afternoon quickie before the other guy came over at 8pm. Meanwhile, 8pm guy postponed till tomorrow and I already arranged for another guy (20 years old) to come at 8. So craigslist guy came over a little later than arranged, he walked in, we headed towards the bedroom, then he said he forgot he had to go help his friend and he'd be right back. Sure he would. I never heard from him! Now keep in mind that we had exchanged pics, talked on the phone, everything. All I can think of is that he chickened out for some reason. Fine, I'd concentrate on 8pm guy. He was also running a little bit late but when he got here, the whole thing was finished so quickly that I hardly knew it happened!
So here I am. Saturday night. Sure I got some action today but it's not the action I wanted. It's not the guy I wanted. He still hasn't texted me and I refuse to text him until he does it first. I'm tired of giving him ample opportunities to see me and he doesn't take them, even though he keeps texting about how much he wants me. There's always some excuse - he has to work, he doesn't have gas money, whatever. Well you either want me or you don't. I want him too, but what good is that if he doesn't show up?
I find myself looking for the chemistry and connection I had with that guy. No one is good enough. No one even comes close. I don't understand how it can just be that way with some people but not with others...I don't understand what makes that happen between two people? With this guy, I somehow knew before we met that it would be amazing...I don't know how, but I could just tell by the way we talked when texting. I know it sounds crazy, but I knew. Maybe I should learn to sense that with other people, but I'm afraid if I reject every guy who doesn't meet that criteria, I'll have no one!
Tomorrow I have two people coming over. Slutty, I know, but I don't care what you think. The 1:00 guy promises to be fun but I guess I will have to see if we have any chemistry at all. the 7:00 guy (rescheduled from tonight) is super adorable and we're very attracted to each other but again, we'll see.
I feel that I need to further explore what makes sex "good" or "bad". Maybe next time.
Now here's what really happened. This is my life.
Yesterday during work, my favorite guy texted me and I asked him to come over last night. He hesitated at first, but I managed to convince him and we agreed upon 7pm. This is someone I had a lot of fun with and I was really really looking forward to seeing him again. If I only saw him all weekend, I would've been happy. So I went down to the bar in my building to have a drink or two before he arrived, then, thinking it was unusual that I hadn't heard from him, I decided to text him 15 minutes before 7 to ask if he was on his way. "Oh that was tonight?"
What???? Of course it was tonight! I re-read our texts from earlier in the day and the word "tonight" was all over the place! There was no doubt the arrangement was that he would come over at 7pm Friday night. WTF kind of game was he playing here? I encouraged him to come over anyway, but he didn't respond to my texts. Much later that night, we had a brief exchange that consisted of one-word answers from him.
For some reason I began scrambling for someone to come over. Anyone, apparently. As I usually do when this particular person no-shows, I turned to craigslist and answered a couple of ads, not really thinking anything would come of them and also not thinking about how I really don't have time for any new people right this minute. But of course they both responded. We exchanged pics as per the normal procedure and I informed them that I was not available this weekend.
Then I emailed another guy I'd met online and asked if he wanted to come over since my night had suddenly opened up. He did. When he arrived, he informed me that he just wanted a blow job and for whatever reason, perhaps because his pants were already down, I obliged. Well that was quick and unsatisfying.
Am I going for quality or quantity? I thought quality but sometimes I slip up.
Even later last night as I was in bed, still clutching my iPhone, I received a message on the dating website from some guy who clearly was interested in sex. He was young and hot and right away I gave him my email so we could exchange pics. Wow those pics were nice. I told him I was in bed naked and he said he wanted to come over. Now call it vanity, but I had already washed off my makeup and didn't want to meet someone with a bare face. Also, as much as they think I'm going to answer the door naked, I'm not, and would need to get up and get dressed. Told him I was about to go to sleep and that was that. Then not even 5 minutes later I received a text from someone I have been in contact with but haven't met in person yet. He said "wanna fuck"? I told him I was sleeping and he said "well you're awake now". I was literally just about asleep when he texted me. I should've had one of those guys over...when will I learn to take the opportunities as they are presented to me?
So today I decided to be super-slutty and have one of last night's craigslist guys over for an afternoon quickie before the other guy came over at 8pm. Meanwhile, 8pm guy postponed till tomorrow and I already arranged for another guy (20 years old) to come at 8. So craigslist guy came over a little later than arranged, he walked in, we headed towards the bedroom, then he said he forgot he had to go help his friend and he'd be right back. Sure he would. I never heard from him! Now keep in mind that we had exchanged pics, talked on the phone, everything. All I can think of is that he chickened out for some reason. Fine, I'd concentrate on 8pm guy. He was also running a little bit late but when he got here, the whole thing was finished so quickly that I hardly knew it happened!
So here I am. Saturday night. Sure I got some action today but it's not the action I wanted. It's not the guy I wanted. He still hasn't texted me and I refuse to text him until he does it first. I'm tired of giving him ample opportunities to see me and he doesn't take them, even though he keeps texting about how much he wants me. There's always some excuse - he has to work, he doesn't have gas money, whatever. Well you either want me or you don't. I want him too, but what good is that if he doesn't show up?
I find myself looking for the chemistry and connection I had with that guy. No one is good enough. No one even comes close. I don't understand how it can just be that way with some people but not with others...I don't understand what makes that happen between two people? With this guy, I somehow knew before we met that it would be amazing...I don't know how, but I could just tell by the way we talked when texting. I know it sounds crazy, but I knew. Maybe I should learn to sense that with other people, but I'm afraid if I reject every guy who doesn't meet that criteria, I'll have no one!
Tomorrow I have two people coming over. Slutty, I know, but I don't care what you think. The 1:00 guy promises to be fun but I guess I will have to see if we have any chemistry at all. the 7:00 guy (rescheduled from tonight) is super adorable and we're very attracted to each other but again, we'll see.
I feel that I need to further explore what makes sex "good" or "bad". Maybe next time.
The Regulars?
So I keep telling myself that I'll stop all this nonsense as soon as I get some regular guys to see, you know, regularly. So I have 2 1/2 (I'll explain the 1/2 later) now yet I have not been able to stop meeting new guys. First I'll tell you about the regular guys and then we'll examine why I can't stop meeting new ones.
Well there's The Musician. One night while sitting in my favorite bar, I sent him a message on the dating website. He was hot, 32 years old, and according to his profile, a musician. Now I'm not one of those women who gets all hot and bothered about musicians, especially when it's just sex that I want, but he was really hot. Unexpectedly, he messaged me back right away! He seemed (and still does, every time I see him) completely blown away that a woman just wants to have sex and nothing else. We made arrangements for him to come over that night. Yeah, I work fast. So he came right over and it turns out he lives and works in my neighborhood, so I knew this was going to be convenient and hopefully often. He was fun and naughty and just bent me right over and fucked me without a condom. I know what you're thinking, but sometimes it's just hotter that way. So the next couple of times, he texted me out of the blue and I had him come over. This guy is just a quick fuck, but sometimes that's all ya need!
I'm going to call the next one Mr. Normal. He's 23, super tall, and just a regular, normal nice guy. Not a tattoo in sight and he is genuinely the nicest, most considerate guy I've encountered so far, given the circumstances of our meeting. This one was from craigslist and I can tell you that sometimes guys don't treat you with the most basic of common courtesies when you meet them this way, even when it's your own ad they're responding to. It's just the nature of the game. So Mr. Normal always texts when he says he will and comes over when he says. I like that. There's no reason we can't treat each other with respect. The thing is, he's not a good kisser and I don't feel tons of chemistry with him, but what he IS good at is oral sex. Lots and lots of oral, for as long as I want. Amazing. He's also quite large and can go for a long time...I love that. So for these reasons, I keep him around.
Now I'm gonna go out on a limb here and call this next guy a "regular". It's the Puerto Rican. I've only seen him once but we both want to do this again, but things keep getting in the way. That's all I'm gonna say about that right now, but I'm sure there will be future updates.
Excuse me while I go address an email from a potential new guy...
And I'm back, ready to explain why I keep searching. The thing is, I feel like I can always find someone better, someone with whom I have more chemistry, someone hotter, someone who can come over more often. Just better. I even wonder to myself if I found all of these things, would I then stop searching? I truly don't know the answer to that question.
Well there's The Musician. One night while sitting in my favorite bar, I sent him a message on the dating website. He was hot, 32 years old, and according to his profile, a musician. Now I'm not one of those women who gets all hot and bothered about musicians, especially when it's just sex that I want, but he was really hot. Unexpectedly, he messaged me back right away! He seemed (and still does, every time I see him) completely blown away that a woman just wants to have sex and nothing else. We made arrangements for him to come over that night. Yeah, I work fast. So he came right over and it turns out he lives and works in my neighborhood, so I knew this was going to be convenient and hopefully often. He was fun and naughty and just bent me right over and fucked me without a condom. I know what you're thinking, but sometimes it's just hotter that way. So the next couple of times, he texted me out of the blue and I had him come over. This guy is just a quick fuck, but sometimes that's all ya need!
I'm going to call the next one Mr. Normal. He's 23, super tall, and just a regular, normal nice guy. Not a tattoo in sight and he is genuinely the nicest, most considerate guy I've encountered so far, given the circumstances of our meeting. This one was from craigslist and I can tell you that sometimes guys don't treat you with the most basic of common courtesies when you meet them this way, even when it's your own ad they're responding to. It's just the nature of the game. So Mr. Normal always texts when he says he will and comes over when he says. I like that. There's no reason we can't treat each other with respect. The thing is, he's not a good kisser and I don't feel tons of chemistry with him, but what he IS good at is oral sex. Lots and lots of oral, for as long as I want. Amazing. He's also quite large and can go for a long time...I love that. So for these reasons, I keep him around.
Now I'm gonna go out on a limb here and call this next guy a "regular". It's the Puerto Rican. I've only seen him once but we both want to do this again, but things keep getting in the way. That's all I'm gonna say about that right now, but I'm sure there will be future updates.
Excuse me while I go address an email from a potential new guy...
And I'm back, ready to explain why I keep searching. The thing is, I feel like I can always find someone better, someone with whom I have more chemistry, someone hotter, someone who can come over more often. Just better. I even wonder to myself if I found all of these things, would I then stop searching? I truly don't know the answer to that question.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
WTF?
Now I know this isn't supposed to be my personal journal, more like documentation of my experiences, but tonight I just need to get something off my chest.
I can't tell a single one of my friends because they'll misunderstand. Hell I don't even understand what's going on.
All I know is that one of the guys I've met has infiltrated my brain and I cannot stop thinking about him. I'm not gonna say which one, though if you've read all my posts you could probably figure it out. I know I'm going to see him again but it's just a matter of when. Meanwhile he keeps texting about how much he wants me. I can't stand it! But I absolutely live for those texts!
I texted him today that I was thinking about him and we are texting right now. Do I want a relationship with this guy? Probably not. However, being with him was the best experience ever and I want to feel that way again...soon. Texting about it is absolute torture!
If I could see this guy every day I literally would not need or want anyone else. Am I going soft? Nope, I am just now realizing what I was missing all these years...how awesome it can be, and frankly it's got me a little emotional.
I am trying to articulate why it's so awesome with this guy and all I can come up with is that I've never felt any connection like this with anyone. Yes, it's just sex, but it's amazing. Nothing is fake or forced; it's just effortless
uninhibited, and completely fucking hot. Chemistry like this is rare right?
That's all have to say about that and now I'm gonna go answer his latest text.
I can't tell a single one of my friends because they'll misunderstand. Hell I don't even understand what's going on.
All I know is that one of the guys I've met has infiltrated my brain and I cannot stop thinking about him. I'm not gonna say which one, though if you've read all my posts you could probably figure it out. I know I'm going to see him again but it's just a matter of when. Meanwhile he keeps texting about how much he wants me. I can't stand it! But I absolutely live for those texts!
I texted him today that I was thinking about him and we are texting right now. Do I want a relationship with this guy? Probably not. However, being with him was the best experience ever and I want to feel that way again...soon. Texting about it is absolute torture!
If I could see this guy every day I literally would not need or want anyone else. Am I going soft? Nope, I am just now realizing what I was missing all these years...how awesome it can be, and frankly it's got me a little emotional.
I am trying to articulate why it's so awesome with this guy and all I can come up with is that I've never felt any connection like this with anyone. Yes, it's just sex, but it's amazing. Nothing is fake or forced; it's just effortless
uninhibited, and completely fucking hot. Chemistry like this is rare right?
That's all have to say about that and now I'm gonna go answer his latest text.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Hotness
These next few can be described as one-time encounters with hot-ass guys! With each one, there was definite chemistry and I had a great time! I'm skipping around a little bit to put them in similar categories. As of this writing I've only seen these guys one time each, but that'll change soon.
We'll start with Suburban Cute. I believe my encounter with him happened pretty quickly. I recall being out shopping when his message came in on the dating website. Ironically, I was standing in front of the condoms about to put some in my basket. Looked like I'd be using them sooner than I thought! He wanted to meet that day for some naughty fun and I liked his pic and so we made arrangements for him to come over. He arrived and I instantly felt like this was going to be fun. He was only 21 but definitely took control of the situation; he was not shy and did not wait for me to get things started. I liked that. A lot. I wish more guys were like that.
The Nice Guy is 34 (I know, a little old!) and someone who at first glance wasn't really my type but he was cute and really really tall. We discussed what we wanted to do and agreed on a time when he'd come over. Well we sat on the sofa and after the usual awkward couple of minutes, I decided to just kiss him already. Fairly good kisser, good chemistry, so we pretty quickly headed into the bedroom. My god he was big! And he could go forEVER. I believe I finally found someone who actually tired me out! Good fun.
The Neighbor is 26 years old, lives in my 'hood, and has a girlfriend. He was quite hung from the pics he sent and very very cute. This guy was even cuter in person! Whoa. It was a pretty hot day but I didn't care. Really really good kisser and devastatingly blue eyes. Well, we were both pretty eager to get to it, so this one was hot, intense, and fairly quick. No regrets except that I haven't seen him again.
This next one was probably the dirtiest, most fun I'd had up until that point, therefore he earned the nickname Dirty Boy. 33 years old, I met him on the dating website and we had messaged a few times, both expressing interest in meeting....then he dropped off. Finally one night he sent me a message out of the blue asking if I wanted him to stop by. Well, I had my period that day and told him, but he just said "well we can do other stuff". Ok then! I'm game. He wanted me to leave my door unlocked and he'd just come right in and "attack" me. That sounded like a lot of fun, so I buzzed him in the main door, then unlocked the door to my place and waited. He walked in, I went over to him and locked the door, then he grabbed me and kissed me! He was so hot! There was tons of attraction and instant chemistry! I think sometimes all it takes is for two people to be on the same wavelength of "I want to have some uninhibited naughty fun"! So we made out a lot, then clothes came off. I gave him the most awesome blow job ever, for a really long time. There may or may not have been a video made on his phone of the "big finish", details of which will not be included here for anonymity purposes. I really want to see this guy again but I know these encounters will be few and far between.
Common theme here: chemistry, attraction, fun. Oh I could also include size.
Overall these four were some of my favorites.
We'll start with Suburban Cute. I believe my encounter with him happened pretty quickly. I recall being out shopping when his message came in on the dating website. Ironically, I was standing in front of the condoms about to put some in my basket. Looked like I'd be using them sooner than I thought! He wanted to meet that day for some naughty fun and I liked his pic and so we made arrangements for him to come over. He arrived and I instantly felt like this was going to be fun. He was only 21 but definitely took control of the situation; he was not shy and did not wait for me to get things started. I liked that. A lot. I wish more guys were like that.
The Nice Guy is 34 (I know, a little old!) and someone who at first glance wasn't really my type but he was cute and really really tall. We discussed what we wanted to do and agreed on a time when he'd come over. Well we sat on the sofa and after the usual awkward couple of minutes, I decided to just kiss him already. Fairly good kisser, good chemistry, so we pretty quickly headed into the bedroom. My god he was big! And he could go forEVER. I believe I finally found someone who actually tired me out! Good fun.
The Neighbor is 26 years old, lives in my 'hood, and has a girlfriend. He was quite hung from the pics he sent and very very cute. This guy was even cuter in person! Whoa. It was a pretty hot day but I didn't care. Really really good kisser and devastatingly blue eyes. Well, we were both pretty eager to get to it, so this one was hot, intense, and fairly quick. No regrets except that I haven't seen him again.
This next one was probably the dirtiest, most fun I'd had up until that point, therefore he earned the nickname Dirty Boy. 33 years old, I met him on the dating website and we had messaged a few times, both expressing interest in meeting....then he dropped off. Finally one night he sent me a message out of the blue asking if I wanted him to stop by. Well, I had my period that day and told him, but he just said "well we can do other stuff". Ok then! I'm game. He wanted me to leave my door unlocked and he'd just come right in and "attack" me. That sounded like a lot of fun, so I buzzed him in the main door, then unlocked the door to my place and waited. He walked in, I went over to him and locked the door, then he grabbed me and kissed me! He was so hot! There was tons of attraction and instant chemistry! I think sometimes all it takes is for two people to be on the same wavelength of "I want to have some uninhibited naughty fun"! So we made out a lot, then clothes came off. I gave him the most awesome blow job ever, for a really long time. There may or may not have been a video made on his phone of the "big finish", details of which will not be included here for anonymity purposes. I really want to see this guy again but I know these encounters will be few and far between.
Common theme here: chemistry, attraction, fun. Oh I could also include size.
Overall these four were some of my favorites.
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