So if you've been reading this blog, you probably understand by now that I'm not interested in nor am I ready for a real relationship. This is about sex. I'm loving being single and not accounting to anyone for my actions. It's awesome.
Enter Mr. Relationship Denial (RD).
This next guy threw me for a loop and almost had me convinced I wanted something that I really didn't want. His timing was interesting; he contacted me on the dating site, all full of compliments and very interested in me just when I was dealing with one guy being a no-show and another one postponing 3 times in one week. We messaged and then quickly turned to texting. There was no dirty talk but I just thought he was being polite. Surely he'd request a naughty pic at any moment! What was taking so long!
He said right off the bat that he wasn't looking for a serious relationship. COOL! I'm not either! This should work out well since we were both so attracted to each other, right? It was just a matter of time before I had him in my lair - I mean condo.
So he still wasn't in town yet as he was planning to relocate here very soon, so our communication was strictly text until he surprised me by calling me when I was at work. What!?!? At first I thought it was cute, but he seemed to get off somehow on surprising me with phone calls. I'm a texter!
Then soon after RD said he didn't want a serious relationship, he took that definition a little further, adding that he wants an exclusive arrangement "with someone cool to hang out with, have good conversation, cook together, chill, and fuck like crazy several times a week".
Excuse me, did someone say "exclusive"??? I hate to break it to you, but that is a relationship!
Now maybe I was vulnerable from all of the no-shows that week, but some weird part of me found the idea of a guy who would actually be there to be appealing. Oh, I wouldn't have to scramble to find someone? I wouldn't be disappointed that you didn't show up? We'd get over the awkward getting to know you phase and then be comfortable and familiar with each other? I went along with this for a few more days until I woke up one morning and thought, no way. I don't want someone here in my condo while I'm getting ready for work. I don't want anyone waiting for me when I get home. I don't wanna have to have discussions like "where are we going for dinner" and "what are we doing tonight?".
I don't want to date! I have friends if I want to dine out or go to movies or happy hour or whatever else I wanna do! Right now guys are for sex.
ARGH!
We were planning to meet on Saturday but never set a specific time or exact plans. Earlier in the week our discussions about what we'd do were always vague and inconclusive. In one conversation, I asked him to just come over to my place and he hesitated! I got the idea he wanted to actually go out and do something when I really just wanted to get him alone.
Saturday came and still no plans. He finally texted me around noon and the conversation was about random, benign things like what he had for breakfast or how hungover he was from the night before. I was going to let him solidify plans.
Meanwhile, I decided to go to my local bar and chill out instead of wait around for him. While there, drinking, I came to the conclusion that I simply could not meet this guy! We did not want the same thing! It was not fair of him to ask me to be exclusive if we were not in a serious relationship. It just didn't make sense.
So I had another drink, gathered up all of my courage, and texted him, telling him it wasn't going to work and I could not meet him. He understood, explaining that he can't have sex on the first date. We kept discussing how we wanted different things, we respect the other's decision, etc. Then in the next text he tells me again how attracted he is to me and how I'm making him hard! You cannot have it both ways! You either want to dirty text me and come over and fuck, or you want to "real date".
And thus ended the week-long relationship with a guy I've never met.
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